Before I started with this group, I was a respected, well shaven American Male. Oh, I would grow the occasional beard and mustache combo, and once by accident shave to the goatee and mustache combo (which was well received). My mustache education came from Buffalo Bill during a two-week trip to Texas. It was there that I was introduced to mustache training. It begins by placing your index finger just below your nose, and then running your finger along the top of the mustache hairs towards the outer edge. Repeat on each side 10 strokes per hour. Once the mustache gets to the proper length, you can enhance the experience with the Snidely Whiplash finger-thumb swirl.
Once you reach that level of sophistication, there are products to make your mustache more trainable: Mustache wax, found only at the finest barber shops or the kind of drug stores where the pharmacist still remembers how to mix their own drugs. Mustache wax is a manly product for real men. Only real men use it, or very cheesy used car salespeople.
Lately, I have found mustache wax to be a difficult product to find, since the manly drug store has been replaced with drive through pharmacies staffed with high school students. A solid replacement is a small round of Carmex. The odor reduces your chances with legitimate marriageable women, but works fine for the girl who is late on her rent, mortgage or is tied to railroad tracks.
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